10) Acted like a real turkey toward the one group in Iraq that likes us.
9) Have more mistresses than approval points.
8) Stuck a little something in Iran's lead stocking.
7) Compared liberals to fascists despite being a fascist about sharing the Cheetos with other National Review staffers.
6) Called husband by pool boy's name.
5) Called wife by pool boy's name.
4) Ate more than our share of the American pie, grabbed everyone else's share, and then licked the few crumbs they had off their faces.
3) Delivered a urine sample so full of performance enhancers, the cup came back from the lab and hit 40 home runs.
2) Reported that we were beat up for our conservative views on sex, when it turns out we were just beating off.
1) Last name rhymes with "Bush."
18 comments:
Defaulted on teh Bake-Off
Brando,
You have created a monster
I KNEW IT! I knew fish couldn't shut his gill flaps or whatever the heck it is that fish do.
You wouldn't really expect a fish to clam up, would you?
I'm not touching that, Brando.
Yeah, don't let filthbot touch the clam.
I have to say, I'm surprised the filthbot passed on that opening.
I can and I do... and I am!
I'm not touching that, Brando.
Bring up many college memories?
No, because I obliterated those episodes with alcohol.
How did we end up on the naughty list?
12) extensive food-related sex jokes.
I'll just let you two pervs entertain yourselves with your own imaginations. I'm sure you'll come up with things that are much more exciting than my past.
Sounds like someone doesn't want to talk about her misspent youth. Time to sic a team of crack investigative reporters on it. God knows they're not doing anything else the last few years.
Glasses like that, you KNOW something arty and weird was going on....
No baking at all, I'd wager.
I love it when the comments are as funny as the post. I really feel like I got my money's worth.
13) Once again, corrupted by Jennifer.
I was going to spend this week talking about "a very serious and thoughtful argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care," but now I'm too distracted by thoughts of "imaginary leftist ninjas."
So many memes, so little time.
Brendan, funny you mention those two things, as I have written about Jonah Goldberg as a ninja.
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