10) New cover of "The Song Remains the Same."
9) Five ways to spot an undercover vice cop.
8) Bill to have Britney preserved as a national white trash treasure.
7) Resolution declaring Michigan Stadium a disaster area.
6) Toy-safety plan freed of lead paint, sharp edges, or small parts.
5) Theory that what’s undermining the black community isn’t violent rap music, but kids in the projects renting Brokeback Mountain.
4) New family values cockring that changes colors with your hypocrisy level.
3) White House idea to have Criss Angel transform Iraq into stable democracy on an episode of Mindfreak.
2) The elephant in the room that the elephants in the room want to ignore.
1) Presidential hindquarters for sniffing.