10) Illegal cryogenic facility with half-frozen head of Walt Disney.
9) Half-empty vial of Holy Spirit (may cause seizures).
8) A bunch of hypodermic needles scratching Hank Aaron’s broken record.
7) Secret copy of the Zapruder film showing JFK being shot by Waldo.
6) iPhone with YouTube clip of us filming dog fights while also conducting phone interview saying we’ve never been to a dog fight.
5) A dozen 9mm handguns, a fifth of Jack Daniels, and a box of porn, all perfectly legal. Sorry to have bothered you...wait a minute, what’s this? An ounce of weed, downloaded MP3s, and a gay marriage license? Up against the wall, pal!
4) What was left of Billy Bob and the dipping sauce.
3) Why nothing? Nothing at all! We haven’t been anywhere near your house! Why would you even think such a thing? It’s the blue one on the corner, right?
2) Internet tubes totally clogged with a truckload of bribes.
1) Nothing a call to the Vice President can’t fix.
14 comments:
That reminds me, I want my Holy Spirit back. I cannot believe you've kept it so long. It better be in one piece.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA&eurl=
can your midwest air drum routine measure up to this?
The Midwestern Drum Solo would give that kid an imaginary kick drum to the head. It's not even close.
Freebasing the Holy Spirit has also been known to cause uncontrollable tongues and hair that bursts into flames. Did anyone comment on the state of Roberts' scalp??
8) A bunch of hypodermic needles scratching Hank Aaron’s broken record.
genius.
11) Eddie Murphy's baby
I don't care so long as the FBI doesn't take my Milli Vanili tapes.
7) Secret copy of the Zapruder film showing JFK being shot by Waldo.
Wouldn't you know it... I looked for Waldo everywhere BUT the grassy knoll.
cold cash
...half-frozen head of Walt Disney.
Half frozen? {shudder} I don't wanna know.
12) The NSA
13) Lindsay Lohan's cocaine.
Um, isn't it Friday?
And Bossy wins. Again!
Goddammit.
Brando --
Link in #2 seems broken. Or were you reaching for new levels of subtlety in your humor by providing a broken link on purpose?
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