Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Top Ten Wednesdays: What's the FBI finding in our homes?

10) Illegal cryogenic facility with half-frozen head of Walt Disney.

9) Half-empty vial of Holy Spirit (may cause seizures).

8) A bunch of hypodermic needles scratching Hank Aaron’s broken record.

7) Secret copy of the Zapruder film showing JFK being shot by Waldo.

6) iPhone with YouTube clip of us filming dog fights while also conducting phone interview saying we’ve never been to a dog fight.

5) A dozen 9mm handguns, a fifth of Jack Daniels, and a box of porn, all perfectly legal. Sorry to have bothered you...wait a minute, what’s this? An ounce of weed, downloaded MP3s, and a gay marriage license? Up against the wall, pal!

4) What was left of Billy Bob and the dipping sauce.

3) Why nothing? Nothing at all! We haven’t been anywhere near your house! Why would you even think such a thing? It’s the blue one on the corner, right?

2) Internet tubes totally clogged with a truckload of bribes.

1) Nothing a call to the Vice President can’t fix.

14 comments:

Adorable said...

That reminds me, I want my Holy Spirit back. I cannot believe you've kept it so long. It better be in one piece.

HOLY BOB! said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA&eurl=

can your midwest air drum routine measure up to this?

Brando said...

The Midwestern Drum Solo would give that kid an imaginary kick drum to the head. It's not even close.

Jennifer said...

Freebasing the Holy Spirit has also been known to cause uncontrollable tongues and hair that bursts into flames. Did anyone comment on the state of Roberts' scalp??

Kathleen said...

8) A bunch of hypodermic needles scratching Hank Aaron’s broken record.

genius.

Kathleen said...

11) Eddie Murphy's baby

Adorable said...

I don't care so long as the FBI doesn't take my Milli Vanili tapes.

Neel Mehta said...

7) Secret copy of the Zapruder film showing JFK being shot by Waldo.

Wouldn't you know it... I looked for Waldo everywhere BUT the grassy knoll.

fish said...

cold cash

MichaelBains said...

...half-frozen head of Walt Disney.

Half frozen? {shudder} I don't wanna know.

Snag said...

12) The NSA

BOSSY said...

13) Lindsay Lohan's cocaine.

Adorable said...

Um, isn't it Friday?

And Bossy wins. Again!

Goddammit.

Brendan said...

Brando --

Link in #2 seems broken. Or were you reaching for new levels of subtlety in your humor by providing a broken link on purpose?