10) Thought it would be nice to use soul for a while before having to turn it over to the Devil.
9) Fled the ship once the water reached our second chin.
8) Couldn’t resist dream opportunity to smear a woman and a black guy in next presidential election.
7) Need time to prepare pre-indictment itinerary for fleeing the country.
6) Felt that after getting the nation to vote for a moronic, inexperienced, deceiving simp twice, there were no mountains left to climb.
5) Wanted to be able to arrange anonymous restroom blowjobs as a private citizen.
4) Couldn’t take one more mispronounciated word from the boss without committing suicide with the sharp corner of a Webster’s dictionary.
3) Plan to start a pro wrestling career with Rummy as The Denial Duo.
2) Who cares, is there cake in the West Wing breakroom?
1) Realized that after six years of our turds blossoming, we’re too stinky to keep working.