Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: What's making us so fat?

Special supersized edition!

13) Rapid advances in cheese-to-dough delivery systems.

12) Day-to-day food pyramid is more éclair shaped.

11) All these illegal immigrants willing to eat half of what Americans do.

10) Dannon’s new bacon-on-the-bottom yogurt.

9) Climbing rates of telekinesis.

8) School cafeterias replaced by rows of Pez dispensers.

7) Thought we had been going to the gym, but turns out it was our Second Life selves.

6) Coco Puffs gateway to much more cuckoo breakfast cereals.

5) Forced by General Tso to march to buffet for more of his chicken.

4) Scarfing whole Meat Lover’s pizzas just to spite snooty vegan sister.

3) Divine punishment for ancestors’ support of slavery.

2) Hollywood’s constant portrayal of obesity as glamorous and chic…no wait, it’s the jumbo popcorn with extra butter and a gallon of Mountain Dew for just a quarter more.

1) Would find out if it didn’t require getting off the couch.


Chuckles said...

14. Gym subscription rates.

Jennifer said...

"Dannon’s new bacon-on-the-bottom yogurt."

Does Pinko know about this yet!?!?

Also, bacon on the bottom sounds more like something Sen. Craig might like. That could just be my Second Life talking. :)

BOSSY said...

15) Bottled water with flavored calories.

Noelle said...

This makes me giggle.

Also, I have to add: 16) Driving to the mailbox.

MichaelBains said...

10) Dannon’s new bacon-on-the-bottom yogurt.

Mmmmmmmm Bacon!

Though it's incontrovertibly sans humor;

#1. Instant Gratisfaction

(I had to try!) {-;

Snag said...

I'm working on a bacon you can snort. Soon to be available at schools everywhere.

Churlita said...

17. Bacon wrapped Krispy Kremes. (sweet AND salty)

Blue Gal said...

yer funny.

Kathleen said...

14) carrying this Heineken beer keg around in my chest.

fish said...

LOL @ Kathleen.

16) All the "friends" I made in line for The Biggest Loser, um, cattle call.

Adorable said...

I love #12. That's so wrong!!