Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What changes will we be making at the CIA?

Special extended confirmation fight edition!

12) Removing the “para” from “paramilitary.”

11) Taking Jack Bauer seriously when he tells us there's something fishy going on at the airport.

10) Relocating prisoners from secret overseas prisons to American prison system, where no one will pay attention to them.

9) Mandating that all martinis be stirred, not shaken.

8) Settling disagreements with the Defense Intelligence Agency in a winner-take-all steel cage match with Rummy.

7) Keeping that Negroponte from getting too uppity.

6) Switching to Verizon for all secret wiretapping.

5) Reducing operational overhead by starting new “authorize one assassination, get the next one free” policy.

4) Improving readability of the President’s Daily Brief by changing it to a picture-based format.

3) Banning use of Magic 8-ball when writing National Intelligence Estimates.

2) Activating special 2008 election mind-control program, The Frist Supremacy.

1) Respecting the rights of sovereign nations, even when we disagree with them...just kidding, we’re going to ask Pat Robertson which world leaders God says have to go.


SER said...

At this point, I am always amazed when someone doesn't take Jack Bauer seriously. Or when they don't take Veronica Mars seriously. Maybe the two of them should team up to save America!

Brando said...

If they took Bauer seriously, every season of 24 would be 1 or 2 episodes long!

I do need to see what all this Veronica Mars business is about.