Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we going to deal with Iran?

Special expanded options on the table edition!

12) Storm their embassy and take some hostages

11) Tell them in no uncertain terms that if they don’t stop enriching uranium, we’re uncertain what we’ll do

10) Convey the dangers of developing nuclear power by screening director’s cut of Silkwood

9) Grant all 12 million illegal immigrants citizenship, then immediately draft them into an invading army

8) Convince Iran they should unite with the Bush Administration against their common enemy, liberals

7) Incite a pro-Western cultural revolution by opening a Tehran Hooters

6) Activate OPERATION: YOINK where two disguised CIA spies point to the horizon, say, "Hey, is that the Prophet Mohammed?", and steal all the centrifuges when the Iranians look away

5) Check the Book of Revelations for our next move

4) Decide the issue once and for all by asking President Bush and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to appear on special nuclear weapons edition of Deal or No Deal.

3) Open up the football and press the red button with the "Ayatollah Assaholla" sticker on it

2) Air-drop special Delta Force division of Jehovah's Witnesses to covertly convert country to Christianity

1) Beg them to overthrow our democratically elected government, please!


Adorable Girlfriend said...

I thought number 5 was the Book of Mormon. You can get it for free. We have to save money to give to Halliburton.

almostinfamous said...

AG... what's with the mormon bashing?

it's the scientologists you gotta watch out for!

also: hey brando, nice blog you got here. sorry to hear about the tornado, hope things are getting better :)

Trevor Jackson said...

10 b) If Silkwood doesn't cut it, a screening of The China Syndrome would have the dual effect of creating a respect for the nuclear danger and Michael Douglas's well-groomed beard.

Brando said...

Thanks, ai. Things are indeed getting better and life is slowly returning back to normal at Casa del Brando.