Monday, May 22, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What are we putting in our PowerPoint presentations?*

10) A wealth of sentence fragments, improper punctuation, and typos to inspire the sales force

9) Venn diagram displaying suspected movers of our cheese

8) Clip art of a chainsaw-wielding stick figure decapitating someone putting clip art in their PowerPoint presentation

7) An inspirational quote from Death of a Salesman

6) Storyboards for the new ad campaign showing Paris Hilton giving birth to a tasty Carl’s Jr. burger

5) MP3 of “Take This Job and Shove It” along with a scan of our winning lottery ticket

4) Plenty of bullets, fired through the projection screen

3) Detailization of the strategic strategies that will enable us to proactively take the initiative toward realization of sales goals re: revenue production per remaining operational in the marketplace

2) Pixilated image of two sets of tassled loafers facing each other in the men’s room stall with the caption, “How Bob really got his promotion”

1) A Photoshoped Dilbert cartoon containing our suicide note

*In honor of my all-day PowerPoint training session tomorrow.

8 comments:

blue girl said...

Good luck learning about powerpoint!

If you ever need a template design, I'm your girl!

You know another thing that kills me? I will design a template and clients will change it for, like, 5 straight months. Changing things only dogs can hear.

And then, I'll see their final presentation that they've done -- and it'll pretty much have a lot of stuff that you listed!

Why do they degrade my beautiful template design with typos and pixelated images of loafers?

Bastards!

Res Publica said...

Or this

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Res, I don't think that's going to work.

I love bullets!

blue girl said...

Only Res would leave such a minimalistic comment such as that to your very well thought out, important post, but directly linking to something he's done himself.

Res Avorasis, I call him.

Next he'll be leaving you comments asking for money!

Brando said...

LOL, Res, that was hilarious. Not sure how I missed that the first time around.

BG, today was our training with the consultant we hired to redo our PP and also show us how to not cram 10lbs of shit into a 5lb slide. It was actually pretty good, except for it being about PowerPoint.

AG, were you referring to software bullets or hot lead bullets?

Res Publica said...

I am shooting the finger at Blue Girl so hard right now.

blue girl said...

Why does Res chase me around the Internets flipping me the bird?

He is a constant source of degradation.

Glad your PP lesson went good, Brando! What typeface did the consultant recommend to use in PP? Helvetica, Times or Ariel?

:)

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Blue, he's just bitter about losing the cookie war to you.