Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Top Ten Wednesdays: How are we improving relations with China?

10) Conducting joint culinary exercises under the commands of General Tso and Colonel Sanders.

9) Stimulating job creation and trade by allowing a 20% increase in lead content in Chinese-made toys/toothpaste/baby food as long as China uses U.S.-made lead.

8) Allowing Yao Ming to defend the low post with an AK-47.

7) Working off our debt to China by doing their laundry.

6) Collaborating on a secret project to put North Korea in a giant sack and drown it in the Pacific.

5) Strengthening cultural ties by finally greenlighting, “Fortune Cookie: The Movie”

4) Easing tensions by forbidding U.S. news outlets from using the words pollution, human rights violations, environmental disaster, imprisoned Nobel Prize recipient, or mass recall due to high levels of toxicity when reporting on China.

3) Letting them acquire California on a rent-to-own plan.

2) Requiring all unwed U.S. mothers to receive government assistance only if they agree to go on a date with a lonely Chinese man.

1) Getting drunk together and prank calling Japan at 4 a.m.

6 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

4) Easing tensions by forbidding U.S. news outlets from using the words pollution, human rights violations, environmental disaster, imprisoned Nobel Prize recipient, or mass recall due to high levels of toxicity when reporting on China.

Change that to when reporting on China or the U.S., and I bet we've got a deal.
~

custom fortune cookies said...

Will the relations improve with US? I am really doubtful about these.

Churlita said...

17) Kindly reminding them that if they go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao,they ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17. Sending them Brett Favre.

fish said...

III. Renaming the catfood brand "Meow Mix" to "Mao Mix."

HA!

and HA!

mikeinportc said...

"Letting them acquire California on a rent-to-own plan."

Can we make that Alabama, or Arkansas, Texas ( minus Austin) or something like that . ( All of the above?)

:)