10) Conducting joint culinary exercises under the commands of General Tso and Colonel Sanders.
9) Stimulating job creation and trade by allowing a 20% increase in lead content in Chinese-made toys/toothpaste/baby food as long as China uses U.S.-made lead.
8) Allowing Yao Ming to defend the low post with an AK-47.
7) Working off our debt to China by doing their laundry.
6) Collaborating on a secret project to put North Korea in a giant sack and drown it in the Pacific.
5) Strengthening cultural ties by finally greenlighting, “Fortune Cookie: The Movie”
4) Easing tensions by forbidding U.S. news outlets from using the words pollution, human rights violations, environmental disaster, imprisoned Nobel Prize recipient, or mass recall due to high levels of toxicity when reporting on China.
3) Letting them acquire California on a rent-to-own plan.
2) Requiring all unwed U.S. mothers to receive government assistance only if they agree to go on a date with a lonely Chinese man.
1) Getting drunk together and prank calling Japan at 4 a.m.