Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we missing George W. Bush?

10) WTF? Are you serious?

9) Okay, it was kind of awesome to be smarter than the president.

8) And we miss Jon Stewart’s Bush almost as much as his Dick impression.

7) Still, we’d rather have a CIA interrogator electroshock our taint than go through those eight years again.

6) Although, if we were rich, we’d love another tax cut to have the money to build walls around our McMansions and not have to look at all the foreclosure signs.

5) We’d also really love to get back to “don’t tax and spend,” which took Americans’ love of credit card debt and made it a national economic strategy. All we’d have to do is make a balance transfer from one foreign creditor to another offering us 0% APR for six months.

4) Plus, there’s something appealing about a president who didn’t overthink things, or even think about them, and instead just did what Jesus told him.

3) He also brought democracy to Iraq for the low price of our national integrity, trillions of dollars, and hundreds of thousands of bodies.

2) Finally, who didn’t admire the philosophical conundrums of his anti-omnipotence, such as: could George W. Bush make a mess so bad even he couldn’t fuck it up any further?

1) In the end, though, this is kind of like saying we don’t like the janitor and instead miss the guy who shit all over the toilet. And everybody hates that guy except for other assholes who think it's funny to shit all over a toilet and then make a black guy clean it up.