10) Cement shoes dragging us to bottom of the Hudson River.
9) Malfunctioning parachute.
8) Excessive weight gain by parasitic twin.
7) Black hole created by imploding NBC prime time schedule.
6) Letting Viagra prescription lapse.
5) The invisible hand of the free market pushing our heads toward the phallus of deregulation.
4) Our pet Kraken.
3) Depression over being too old to be depressed by Cure songs anymore.
2) Third-world devastation interfering with our ability to be racist, xenophobic assholes.
1) Gravity.
10 comments:
Malfunctioning elevator shoes.
Depressed elevators.
Winter and the eternal wearing of the down jacket.
Amazingly, this winter is not getting me down. Temps in the 20s and 30s are giving us March UP weather in January! That joyfulness also means I've officially become an institutional man like a prisoner at Shawshank.
That joyfulness also means I've officially become an institutional man like a prisoner at Shawshank.
Stay away from nooses come sunshine and spring.
Slow pace of Pitchfork Cobaggery Watch.
A certain Mister P. Punko has been slow to approve new ombudsthinghie applications.
~
The COBA bureaucracy grinds exceedingly slowly.
However, an interim accreditation as Interim Ombudsthunder may be issued for ombudsmanry on your own blog, if I am not mistaken. That only takes seven or eight months.
And for an entirely reasonable fee, too!
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