Special extended time off edition!
12) Hunting for a classifieds section from a paper that hasn't gone out of business.
11) Doubling our severance package in Vegas.
10) Expanding our professional knowledge-base by watching a lot of Jeopardy.
9) Looking under the sink for anything that might get us high.
8) Researching methods of faking own death that won't void our insurance.
7) Studying WebMD so we can perform our own surgical procedures when our COBRA expires.
6) Brushing and flossing.
5) Performing stretching exercises to prepare for new career as a drug mule.
4) Downloading as much porn as possible before our Internet service gets turned off.
3) Waiting by the mailbox for our lottery check from Nigeria.
2) Clearing every overgrown shrub from Crawford to Amarillo.
1) Practicing for our all-nude male review.