Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: What concessions are we making in exchange for our bailout?

10) Manufacturing new Ford Piñata hybrid that explodes with sweets when rear-ended.

9) Allowing new car czar to call “shotgun.”

8) Providing own knee pads and Blistex when reporting to Congress.

7) Designing new CEO engine that purrs like a kitten instead of braying like a jackass.

6) Giving union members dental coverage only for first five years or 50,000 chews.

5) Securing G.O.P. votes by making Jesus fish standard on all new models.

4) Offering a free “lube job” to any citizen presenting a recent tax return in the alley behind local dealership.

3) Agreeing to have every all bailout checks treated with RustBelt-oleum.

2) Replacing benefit-driven workforce with one that runs on chicken-fried sushi.

1) Installing new GPS system that shows precisely where the fuck all of this is heading.

6 comments:

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Will post an Illinois Senate seat as bail.

Noelle said...

Ha! I cannot add to the wit that this post already contains.

rotten mcdonald said...

making cars that suck less? A little less, anyways.

having union leaders taken out and shot. That will make the Republicans happy anyway. After all, no unions in banks!

Churlita said...

"Providing own knee pads and Blistex when reporting to Congress."

Perfectly true and oh, so sad.

fish said...

Okay, but I am not sure how putting this on a car will help with the GOP...