Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: What did we learn during the State of the Union?

Special extended applause edition!*

12) Iran has been trying to obtain large quantities of secret herbs and spices from a “Colonel Sanders.”

11) Economic stimulus is like male arousal: the more pressure you apply, the less likely it is to happen.

10) The Iraq surge would be working even better if it was electrical.

9) Tax hikes make Baby Jesus cry tears made out of Bambi’s blood.

8) North Korea has been all cleared up since we applied that pimple stuff Jessica Simpson sells.

7) From now on, the Verizon guy will be wearing a trench coat and carrying a black bag.

6) Opportunities to travel abroad and see exciting action are the highest they’ve been in 40 years.

5) The writer’s strike caused this year’s State of the Union to be mostly repeats.

4) “Bombing Iran” is on Vice President Cheney’s bucket list.

3) Those who can’t do, veto.

2) We actually still have a president in the White House.

1) That we’re going to lose one of our greatest resources of unintentional comedy next year.


*Billy Pilgrim, this means you should start at #13

7 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

#ONE!!111111, Pilgrimmm stylee: WE WON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS NUMB FUCKING CHOADLUMP MISPRONOUNCE 'NUCLEAR' ANY MORE!!

Brando said...

No shit, Billy. Listening to him attempt to talk above the fourth grade level, I turn into Samuel L. Jackson and start yelling, "English, motherfucker, do you speak it?!"

Distributorcap said...

brando --- i think we will always some asswipe republican to make fun of --- tho he is rich in material

i would rather have less material and a lot less bush

billy pilgrim said...

I was going to call him some form of 'tard, but it's an insult to the mentally disabled.

Churlita said...

So,what was his excuse for the repeats during all those other State of the Unions when there wasn't a writer's strike?

Kathleen said...

13) not to play a drinking game where you drink every time you want to scream.

mikeinportc said...

Didn't watch it 'til tonight , so I could ff through the phony applause & worst cringe-moments. Then I had to start over and actually watch it. ;D Was in the process of getting banned @ RedState.com, as the speech was going on.

"Samuel L Jackson" OMG! Hi -freakin'-Larious! I'm probably gonna start laughing hysterically whenever I hear Prez. Gump from now on. Hope I don't get locked up . ( Mental ward. Don't mean the "Cheney's watching!/foil helmet/black helicopter" scenario . We're not there , yet)