Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we preparing for a recession?

Special extended layoffs edition!

15) Offering tax rebates in the form of scratch-off lottery tickets.

14) Assaulting real estate agent and mortgage broker so that we’ll have a place to live for the next 8-15 years.

13) Crossing border to seek new economic opportunities in Canada.

12) Selling excess children to science.

11) Replacing expensive toilet paper with worthless stock option certificates.

10) Traveling to Vegas to start a lucrative new act, imitating celebrities crapping their pants for money.

9) Conserving blog posts until we have something interesting to say.

8) Electroshocking Alan Greenspan’s testicles until he tells us how to get out of this and/or for getting us into this.

7) Cutting down heating bills by lighting selves on fire.

6) Auditioning for spot on Extreme Home Takeover.

5) Increasing size of investment portfolio by focusing on porn futures.

4) Creating cheap, homemade SUV hybrid by attaching a sail to the Hummer.

3) Two words: grad school.

2) Finding employment in the one booming sector left in America, the military.

1) Goodbye McMansion, hello McJob!

21 comments:

billy pilgrim said...

12. Moving to Vegas to share an apartment with Danny Gans!

Jennifer said...

Danny Gans doesn't do recessions, BP!

Snag said...

16. Stocking up on refrigerator boxes.

Brando said...

Congratulations to Snag for knowing how to count after 15.

Although to be fair, I imagine BP's head is clouded by visions of Brett Favre throwing interceptions like he just huffed some meth. After last year's Super Bowl Shitting of the Bed, I couldn't count correctly until the second round of the draft ended.

billy pilgrim said...

ummm, it's labeled TOP TEN.

which makes me stupid still, cuz mine is labeled 12. I know, I know. Got it mixed up with the Random eleven.

Wish you'd keep your lists consistent.

Also, to be fair, the smart observers knew that Sunday's game was a matter of who f-ed up first. On This Given Sunday, it was Favre. But we all know Manning WANTED to.

billy pilgrim said...

Hmmmph. Also, counting is overrated. By people who count.

It's like people who can crack their knuckles, thinking there's something special about cracking their knuckles.

Noelle said...

I have been trying to practice #9 for as long as I can.

Jennifer said...

Congratulations to Snag for knowing how to count after 15.

LOL!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Dan Gans is so 1992.

Yawn.

OMG. Mistah 12 is so getting rat-ed out to BG. Oh she is going to LOVE this.

blue girl said...

AG, we must take pity on the weak, the helpless, the unbanned.

The ones who do not count.

I mean, can't count.

billy pilgrim said...

Can't count, can't spell...

We're all misfits here.

fish said...

The island of misfit blogs.

blue girl said...

I want to be a dentist!

Brando said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brando said...

But Blue Girl, you're a blogger, and bloggers are supposed to make posts.

Churlita said...

Wait. We're supposed to conserve blog posts until we have something to say? Crap. I am so screwed.

almostinfamous said...

17(?) learning to speak penguinese.

BOSSY said...

18) Two For One Special down at the Rehab Center.

Mendacious D said...

13) Crossing border to seek new economic opportunities in Canada.

Not unless you're bringing bourbon!

Kathleen said...

19) investing in giant coins.

fish said...

investing in giant coins.

To be used in giant vending machines.