Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we triumphant?

10) Our nominee for attorney general successfully tortured the definition of torture.

9) Resistance to our policies from Congressional Democrats rated between “speed bumps” and “French.”

8) Iraq's political stability has surged ahead of Pakistan's.

7) Launch of Fisher-Price’s My First Recall wildly successful.

6) Scriptural rethinking on divorce allows Christians to protect marriage from gays while gaily choosing a new spouse.

5) Soaring oil prices will help improve national obesity crisis when Americans are forced to push their Hummers.

4) Writer’s strike gives conservative Congressmen chance to continue their studies of the gay lifestyle in peace.

3) Mortgage crisis makes it easy to find empty houses to squat in after our foreclosure.

2) Allowing people with criminal backgrounds to join military will make it easier for the military to recruit from Blackwater.

1) None of the shit going on in the world can depress us because we just might be parents after all.

Thanks to everyone for the wishes, prayers, and ritual sacrifices to various deities. It really helped, and we appear to be on our way toward setting aside all of our hopes and dreams for a creature who will later sneak out of the house and tell us we just don't get them.

21 comments:

Jennifer said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Jennifer said...

One more thing- as things progress, we're going to have to have a blogging shower for you and TLB. However, you may not request GH3 for your new addition. :)

fish said...

YEEEEEHHHHHAAAAAAWWWWWW!!!1!!!!1ii!!

Snag said...

Good deal!!

A blogging shower, eh? Is that anything like a virtual bachelor party?

Kathleen said...

Jennifer just wants creativity to shower with her, but is too shy to ask.

Kathleen said...

Yippee Brando! I can't imagine how nerve-racking the appointment must have been. Many many good wishes to you and TLB.

Mendacious D said...

Congratulations to both of you!

I hope that triumph comes with at least a fifth of bourbon...

blue girl said...

Brando, all you have to do is look at Snag's first two words in his comment to tell you how truly delusional parents end up.

And how we truly do not *get things.*

Hee-hee-hee!!!

I second Jennifer and fish and even Snag and Kathleen's Yippee and Men D's congrats!

Wishing you both the BEST of luck and also a ton of patience as you and The Lovely and With Child Becky will have to endure a ton of labor and delivery stories until your baby is born.

Why do I not see a post this time a year from now about some wild and crazy spur of the moment Vegas trip? Hmmm. Can't think of a reason....

SER said...

I am heartened by the news from the ultrasound and am keeping up my dealings with various deities so that the good luck continues!

Jennifer said...

"Jennifer just wants creativity to shower with her, but is too shy to ask."

I don't want to end up at the chiropractor like Kathleen. :)

billy pilgrim said...

Excellent.

Lou Reed called it "the beginning of the Great Adventure"

blue girl said...

It might be fun to have a kid that I could kick around
Create in my own image like a god


But my favorite part of that song, BP -- is when he sings/says...

Sylvia...

at the end, in his Lou Reed way.

almostinfamous said...

Congrats, Brando!

Brando said...

My brother's bachelor party may be in Vegas the month before TLB is due. Maybe I will get Danny Gans to be the godfather, with him doing an impression of Marlon Brando's Godfather.

Churlita said...

No offense, but I skipped everything so I could see what your results were. yea! I can't think of two better parents than you and TLB.

Noelle said...

yeeee-haw! Go team fertility!

BOSSY said...

Are you trying to tell Bossy she's going to be an Auntie?

Jennifer said...

Are you going to name the baby, Danny, if it's a boy??

Chuckles said...

HOLY SHIT THAT IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!

Adorable said...

Blog shower in Chicago! AG is totally on top of it. Jennifer, you and me are planning it.

And it's good to see even with a depressed and absent AG nothing changes because, um, IT'S THURSDAY!!

P.S. What will noodle call Auntie AG? And AG gets to be the Godmother. No ifs, ands or butts! (Don't make a tacky joke.)

Arrgh said...

<delurk>
Congratulations! As I've become fond of pointing out, Babies rule! You should get one!

On a more sombre note, I feel compelled to mention that I find your Top 10 posts never less than twice as funny as the best of the jokes you wrote for Slate.