Americans set a new record in sexual disease cases. Why are we contracting VD so easily?
10) Abstinence education programs not preventing genitals being left in behinds.
9) NBA players on the road again.
8) Rampant popularity of Paris Hilton’s new fragrance, Clap.
7) Forgot to use toilet seat cover at GOP headquarters.
6) Slept with McAfee sales rep who refused to allow Trojans.
5) Played new, more potent version of Spin the Bottle which requires random sex act from urbandictionary.com.
4) After pastor said he would fill us with The Holy Spirit, we came down with Immaculate Infection.
3) Watched TMZ on TV without wearing full body condom.
2) Partner’s sexual history reads like Caligula’s autobiography.
1) Used faith-based contraception.