Special fair and balanced edition!
10) Letting top donor star in the next sequel to the Book of Mormon.
9) Manufacturing new party game, “Pin the Dick on the Homophobic Harpy.”
8) Holding contest to choose next scientific concept to ban from Kansas schools.
7) Putting New Mexico on eBay.
6) Auctioning our private, freshly churned reserve of Brett Favre’s sperm.
5) Charging extra for the “happy ending” at Bill's kissing booth.
4) Serving waffles at the prayer breakfasts on the Straight Talk Express.
3) Creating a new ice cream flavor, Speaks So Well Vanilla Fudge.
2) Sending Bernie Kerik to get the special box under the floorboards at the Bada Bing.
1) Walking into a room of wealthy celebrities and saying, “I’m Al Gore, bitch!”