10) Require that patients receive new, clean sticks to bite on before operations.
9) Treat post-traumatic stress disorder with counseling instead of sneaking up behind patients and popping paper bag.
8) Sterilize the area beneath rug before sweeping wounded under it.
7) Use red tape and yellow ribbons as bandages.
6) Update current veteran health care manual (originally written by George S. Patton).
5) Remove co-pay requirement from all leechings.
4) Fill IVs with medicine instead of holy water.
3) Provide body armor against the rats and mold.
2) Keep wounded away from cancerous assholes.
1) Surgically remove the “dis” from “disgraceful care for our wounded soldiers.”
6 comments:
This was one of your best "top ten Tuesdays" ever.
Loved the "yellow ribbons and red tape" bit and the "sweeping the wounded under the rug" one. Hell, I loved all 10.
It's all to sad for AG to joke this week.
11) Fire Doctor Caligari, and scrub the black mold out of his cabinet.
13) clone alan alda and deploy him in all the warzones in the world
14) have the soldiers own the responsibility for getting themselves disabled. this is an ownership society we;re trying to build, goddamnit!
Improve morale by designating Fridays as casual dress day & issuing 1/2 price coupons for the tuna casserole and green jello medicinal shooters.
mt
Dude! 'Tis a great Top Tenner!
Love AIF's 14 too. The Owner in Chief could really use that one on a resume...
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