Blue Gal tipped me off to a recent debate about the profanity of the liberal side of the blogosphere. It seemed that some right-wing blogger—one not currently lending his mad science skillz to the Army Corps of Engineers—ran a test: Which blogs more frequently use George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on television, liberal blogs or conservative ones?
The answer: liberal blogs by a margin of 18-1. Or maybe less. But who fucking cares, because...
Wooooo, we’re number 1! In your face, dickfaces!
Ahem, sorry, had to get that out. Okay, so maybe the liberal side likes to use naughty words. Why do we swear so goddamned much?
10) Roget’s yet to come up with synonym for “fuckstick.”
9) Potty mouth perfect for describing how Iraq has gone in the toilet.
8) Can’t give the bird when posting.
7) If it walks and talks like a duck, it must be a duck. Ergo, if it stoops and poops like an asshole...
6) Emulating the role model of American civility, Dick Cheney.
5) Because every time someone’s antiquated Victorian-era sensibilities get rung up, an angel gets his wings.
4) What better way to initiate dialog with conservative preachers, reporters, and Congressman than using the word “cock”?
3) Profanity relieves pressure caused by cognitive dissonance from destroying freedom to protect it.
2) Impossible to look at the President's countenance without typing "ass face."
1) Because when your country is being run by a bunch of flag-humping, feces-throwing, rich-rimming, poor-fisting, science-cornholing, corruption-swallowing, war-jerking jizzrags, “golly” just doesn’t cut it.