Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Top Ten Wednesdays: How Did We Spend the Holidays With Our Families?

Special extended post-traumatic stress syndrome edition!

12) Won’t know until we read the police report

11) Drove from second stepdad’s house to first stepmom’s apartment to second stepmom’s condo and finally to first stepdad’s strip club

10) Put the “tongue” in “kissing cousins”

9) Shot eye out

8) Contemplated suicide until delusional, effeminate, homeless stranger convinced us our life was at least more wonderful than his.

7) Watched grandma show us her newest tattoo

6) Performed our traditional belched rendition of “O Holy Night”

5) Guarded apple pie from very excitable pubescent nephew

4) Started a pool to guess how long sister’s new boyfriend had been out on parole

3) Drowned brother in gravy boat after he showed up with our ex-wife

2) Still in the closet

1) As always, without pants

4 comments:

Chuckles said...

13) At the video store. Watching episodes of Rome.

Churlita said...

The word "pants" is inherently funny, whether you're with them or without them.

almostinfamous said...

14) heatedly debating the merits and demerits of the 1974 topeka humpjugglers (name and year to be changed according to user's experience) after the traditional amount of booze consumption

BOSSY said...

13) Drowning the Turducken in Aunt Edna's cream gravy.