Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What Are We Finding in Our Christmas Stockings?

Special extended 12 days of Xmas edition!

12) Engagement ring from ex-fiancée with finger still attached.

11) Oranges, coal, and story from grandpa about how they got through the Depression by cooking Drifter a la Orange.

10) Copy of The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes with a pink slip bookmark.

9) A dirty Red Hot Chili Pepper.

8) Quote from the prophet Isaiah Thomas: “And a little child shall lead them to a 15-game suspension.”

7) Three pairs of emergency paparazzi panties from Paris.

6) A fake ID that doesn’t show us with our tiara.

5) Craigslist ad reading: “Jolly, mature, adventurous MWM seeks someone very naughty for more than milk and cookies. Must enjoy sleigh rides, bell jingling, and lap-sitting. No elves.”

4) Homemade jerky from Dr. Lecter.

3) Special advance copy of Chinese Democracy CD featuring 76 minutes of Axl refusing to sing.

2) Nintendo Wii that’s been pre-Cheeto stained.

1) A complete set of finished cabinet appointments from dad.

6 comments:

teh l4m3 said...

No fair. I never get to eat hobo.

Churlita said...

I wonder if Britney will get the same eating disorder Nicole Richie got from Paris last year for Christmas.

Trevor Jackson said...

I really try to keep my schadenfreude at low levels, but damn I love the Judith Regan story.

It's a goddamn Hanukkah miracle is what it is.

Brando said...

LOL Trevor. A friend of mine worked for Reagan back in 1997. She was like Kevin Spacey in Swimming With Sharks. She represents everything that is wrong with book publishing. Now her firing is like the hat trick of the year (after the election and Rummy getting kicked to the curb).

Neel Mehta said...

Churlita: people can catch a lot of medical conditions from Paris Hilton, but an eating disorder is not one of them.

BOSSY said...

13) A ChristKwanzMakkah Turducken!