Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why we are thinking about overturning the health care law?

10) Considering the cost savings of the Republican plan: a sack of leeches and a swift kick in the ass.

9) Asked administration lawyer if there were no free clinics or Web MDs, and when told that the poor would rather die than use those resources, remarked that they better do it and decrease the surplus population.

8) Government has failed to keep up with private insurers in creation of cute mascots or catchy slogans supporting their plan.

7) Won’t approve a law that doesn’t cover penis creams and French ticklers (Clarence Thomas objection).

6) Feel that the Founding Fathers never conceived of a world where the government would guarantee health coverage. This is also why we’ll soon be ruling against iPhones, indoor plumbing, Netflix, microwaves, and female orgasm.
5) Worried that once the poor have health insurance, they’ll be clogging doctor’s offices with every little gunshot wound or bloody hacking cough.

4) Would love to see an alternate, exciting, completely surprising resolution to affordable health care come from the writing staff of House.

3) Believe that the right to affordable health care violates the right to make an assload of money off health care.

2) Lack of universal health coverage is unfortunately a pre-existing condition against universal health coverage.

1) While it is constitutional for the government to kill you, tax you, draft you, school you, and rule you, you’re on your own for that cold, Cochise.

10 comments:

Kathleen said...

sad and funny.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

It's a step away from single-payer, not towards. (In other words, the whole thing was basically a sloppy bj for the insurance, for-profit hospital, and big pharma lobbies).
~

fish said...

Why are thinking about overturning the health care law?

Typoe.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

re #9: you think you joke, but Wisconsin's Plastic Cornhole Senator, Ron Johnson, suggested exactly that. See video at my joint.

Thunder, I wonder why the big Insuro and big Pharma are not pressuring Roverts CourtCo to maintain the ACA. Does it boil down, for them to a lose-lose? Either bite the insurance companies by discarding their new revenue streams, or piss off the nutbags by leaving the mandate in place.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

ROBERTS CourtCo.

Apparently Barndo is making all of us misspeel.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Would love to see an alternate, exciting, completely surprising resolution to affordable health care come from the writing staff of House.

Won't cover lupus.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Why are thinking about overturning the health care law?"

Because they are rich privileged cobags who delight in making every less fortunate person's life miserable, because it makes them feel more righteous.

Oh, and money.

Brando said...

Fixed the fishy typo -- I can't leave out the collective "we".

I'm also hoping to provide genuine satire tomorrow and visit other blogs so as to put the "social" in networking. If only I didn't have these people actually expecting me to work!

Substance McGravitas said...

Ever try UNDERturning anything, smart guy?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, Sub.