Friday, February 10, 2012

Top Ten Friday: How are we spreading Santorum?


10) Beginning with some master debating to prime our caucusing.

9) Getting our base really excited by talking about creating a frothy mix of church and state.

8) Acknowledging that watching a black guy have his way with our beloved country is driving us sooo crazy.

7) Explaining that any stains on our Congressional record were the result of ramming home our lengthy legislative agenda.

6) Showing our hardcore credentials by getting our knees and thanking God for showering us with His copious blessings. 

5) Promising that we will work tirelessly to hand jobs to any hard-working American who wants one.

4) Finishing ahead in a crucial three-way primary while the frontrunners beat off attacks from each other.

3) Having donors throw money at us after showing our rising polls.


1) Starting slow so that we could peak and come from behind simultaneously with the election in November.

10 comments:

Brando said...

Random 11 to come later, but I just couldn't let a big splash of Santorum come and go without comment.

Also sorry for not being around blogs this week, it has been a crazy work week.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The pressure to release a spurt of dick jokes must have been intolerable.

Brando said...

It was. I was practically turning blue.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I am glad you followed through on the blue joke. You're having a ball, aren't you?

Now it feels consummated. I feel like a cigarette.

Von said...

#10.
Wow.
I'm just going to leave this alone.

Von said...

And clearly - I should leave the two of you alone.
I'm outta here.

Mendacious D said...

2) Allowing only men into our fox holes.

I'm surprised that the repeal of DADT hasn't been blamed for this yet.

WV is undes, appropriately.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

0) You cannot stop the surge, nor can you even contain it.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

How are we spreading Santorum?

Explosively.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

How about:

Lubricating the gears of industry, so they can grind out prosperity with little friction.