Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Top Ten Tuesdays: What will we learn from today's elections?*

10) OMG, everything!

9) These three races will tell us all that we need to know about whether the Obama administration has been a big, fat failure!

8) We have a representative race and a mayor’s race and not just one, but TWO governor’s races! Our home schooling in statistics tells us that’s a significant sample of the national mood!

7) In fact, if the two Republican and one Conservative candidate guy all win, then Obama may as well resign because it means the country wants him impeached!

6) Especially since he’s just a foreign-born Muslim who is serving illegally!

5) (huh, huh, huh…give us a second to catch our breath….)

4) Okay, where were we? Oh, yeah, gay marriage, the scariest thing to come out of Maine since Stephen King! If that fails in Maine it means, in no uncertain terms, that America is still a Republican country, even if it elected a bunch of Democrats!

3) Finally, if Michael Bloomberg wins again in New York, it means America still loves rich people and hates every socialist policy of this administration. Three huzzahs for money!

2) What it all means is that every American has had it up to here with this socialism and is saying, "I'm a teabagger, too!"

1) Come to think of it, after this election, we won’t even need another election, because it will signal that America loves conservatives and wants them to run everything forever! So say goodbye to President Obama and all hail Queen Sarah!

*This list sponsored by the American media, who desperately want you to pay attention to the most important election of our lifetimes, or at least, the most important election since the last election, and will do anything to get you to pay attention to us, even if it means asking Karl Rover for his "honest" opinion. And please patronize our sponsors!


Noelle said...

Are they also the ones who I have to thank for supplying me with this unbelievable amount of wallpaper? (And by "wallpaper" I mean "political flyers that were suddenly everywhere even though the one person I am eligible to vote for is running uncontested.")

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

btw, sir, I especially enjoyed the goat-sacrificing reference in your sporto bloggo.

Mickey Kaus probably didn't care for it, but what are the odds he's a Bears fan?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Pretty much Total Number One, according to the liberal-biased MSM.

Anonymous said...

11) young people still don't care enough to vote, and old people still love voting.

Churlita said...

I promise to be patronizing to all of the American media's sponsors.

Brando said...

ZRM, everything is funnier with a little goat sacrifice.

I'm seeing that even the big fat loss in New York is being spun as a testament of the power of conservatives, as they forced a Republican out of the race. That's like saying you've had a nutritious meal after eating your own young.

fish said...

Everything I read is about how Obama couldn't win it for a hated Dem in NJ and a bumbling fool in VA. The soft bigotry of low expectations.

The Media said...

Hey, America, pull my finger!

Kathleen said...


Worst outcome for Republicans: Losing the New York congressional race, which has showcased deep divisions between moderates and conservatives over how the party should rebuild to return to power. (from NYT link)

let's see whether even the author holds true to that.

Kathleen said...

aaaaaand, a quick look at the NYT cover page shows that, no, that won't be the media take. naturally.