10) Playing The Scorpions "Winds of Change" during negotiations.
9) Having Obama and Putin star in Lethal Weapons, a buddy-pic about two world leaders who couldn't be more different trying to reduce nuclear arms. (Featuring Joe Pesci as Leo, the wacky translator!)
8) Offering Putin a George W. Bush whoopie cushion that says "nookular" when sat on.
7) Getting drunk on Stoli and crank calling China.
6) Asking for Russian expertise in constructing a better gulag for our detainees.
5) Agreeing to let former Soviet republics join NATO, but granting the Russian army visitation rights on odd weekends.
4) Securing Russian promise to subject dissident journalists only to food poisoning.
3) Accepting Russian apology for Yakov Smirnoff while offering official American apology for Red Dawn.
2) Getting on all fours behind Iran while Russia pushes.
1) Offering them Alaska for free if they agree to take Sarah Palin with them.