10) Learning how to play “Georgia on My Mind” with bursts of AK-47 fire.
9) Sucking exhaust pipes to prepare lungs for Olympic competition.
8) Putting fresh onions on Senator McCain’s belt.
7) Pulling out apology about not pulling out.
6) Continuing to dig a deeper political hole until we’re running for president of China.
5) Feeding family by draining ethanol out of neighbor’s gas tank.
4) Discussing plans to become male strippers while standing in the unemployment line.
3) Watching our political career go down a series of tubes.
2) Enjoying the nice weather from inside, where it’s safe.
1) Reminding the entire world why you should never, ever, ever, elect your beer buddy as President.