10) By inseam.
9) Looking for someone who is more likely to get assassinated than we are.
8) Asking Paula to break the deadlock between Simon and Randy.
7) Holding time trials for falling on swords.
6) Examining the entrails of dead elephants and donkeys.
5) Constructing one out of duct tape.
4) First one to answer the phone at 3 a.m. wins.
3) Strengthening the ticket’s appeal to Evangelicals by requiring candidate to sacrifice first born on Mount Moriah.
2) Picking the one with the most patriotic tattoos.
1) Whoever can capture Vice President Cheney and send him back through the portal to his plane of existence will be the chosen one.
10 comments:
I've discovered that I can't even read anything about Fox "fair and balanced" news without wanting to stick forks in my temples. ugh.
PAULA ABDUL: Barack, your first VP I loved hearing his Iran position -- the second VP, I felt like his usual charm, it was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty. I didn't want to drink a beer with him.
RANDY JACKSON: It was just the first VP.
ABDUL: Oh, my God, I thought you had 2.
RYAN SEACREST: You're seeing the future, baby. You`re seeing the future. She's coming back.
ABDUL: You know what? This is hard.
SIMON COWELL: My god, you are stupid, aren't you!
ABDUL: First Simon, I want to say you look beautiful tonight.
COWELL: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
ABDUL: Didn't you just sing?
JACKSON: We are talking about VP candidates right now!
ABDUL: Oh. I vote 7 points for #3.
PINKO PUNKO: THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!
ABDUL: Oh forget it.
Laughed out loud in my cubicle at this one. No wonder co-workers think I'm a little off.
#4 is the best!
I think I read somewhere that historically, the VP candidate with the larger inseam has always won the election.
11) Picking anyone who isn't Joe Lieberman.
Fish, the Pinko cameo pushed that comment to 11.
First one to answer the phone at 3 a.m. wins.
this one made me laugh the hardest.
Gift for you at my place. Signed, your Rising Blogger reviewer.
Hey, entrails are a good idea - 'cept not from animals... I'm thinking a certain prez and vice-prez would be better choice.
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