Friday, June 20, 2008

TBD still TBD

Update 6/23: We're at the hospital, drugs are flowing, but TBD is still holed up like Butch Cassidy and/or the Sundance Kid. We're trying to convince the child that there are two eager parents waiting for him/her, not an armed and angry Mexican army. We hope to resolve the standoff peacefully.



Well, we haven't even had our baby yet and already TBD is rebelling. The initial pharmaceutical artillery failed to soften TLB enough, to the point where the doctor said inducing labor would probably not produce a baby. Labor without a baby...that's a pretty easy selling point to resist.

So, we have returned home for resting and will return Sunday night for more shelling and hopefully a full offensive on Monday morning. Sorry our fertility is jerking everyone around like the writers from Lost. And thanks for all the good wishes -- you all are putting some big ol' smiles on our faces.

In the meantime, this clip seems appropriate:

35 comments:

Jennifer said...

Although frustrating, not going through labor that doesn't produce the goods sounds like a great plan!! Get some rest. Have some gnarly sex, eat lots of jalapeƱos, start nipple massage, etc, etc, etc. :)

Seriously though, enjoy the rest and try to take advantage of it. You're all in our thoughts!!

blue girl said...

Yep, TBD is already messin' with your head. Rebelling, not listening, wearing you out, making you stay up late to see when he arrives, etc., etc., etc.

I would say "Give him a time out," but I think it would have to be a "Time in" at this point and I think he'd call that "lame."

Hang in there, guys!

And TBD: Stop hanging in there! Hurry up so you can hang out with us!

I can hear him now..."BG is lame, lame, lame..."

billy pilgrim said...

and BG has spit up on her shirt.

I SAID IT!!

Try to relax, TLB. Sometimes things happen in their own time.

Remember, too, that now every year at Summerfest, I will be able to thing of your child's birthday rather than the anniversary of closing my business.

Thanks for that, I mean it.

blue girl said...

Poor, poor TBD. He's going to have people thinging his birthday.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Crap. I had a whole long comment and it just got blipped.

So, AG will keep it simple: I love you both and TBD will be here soon and we can wait for him or her. We don't mind.

billy pilgrim said...

Also, "pharmaceutical artillery" is made of Win.


Also, shut it BG. At least I didn't tell TLB to relax with a message

I will THING on TBD's birthday as much as I want, until you COME UP HERE AND MAKE ME STOP!!!

Tony Montana said...

You thing you can mess with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

BG, totally go up there and kick his arse. Nothing says: Welcome to the World, Baby like a good ole fashion whooping between Aunties and Uncles.

Now do you both need a time in too?!!

billy pilgrim said...

You KNOW it's a special day when AG is playing the PEACEMAKER!!

O YES I WENT THERE!!

Jennifer said...

Waiting for TBD is like waiting for someone to prosecute the Bush Administration...

Brando- we're going to be highly suspicious if on Monday or Tuesday or whatever day the babe finally arrives, that he/she looks like you in baby clothes...

Oh fer cry... AG the Peacemaker, Brando almost a father, what else is going to turn this blogging world topsy turvy? I know!!! BG will start spelling correctly! :)

Von said...

TBD! TBD! If we all chant that at the same time, all over the country, would it be enough to intice the little bugger to come on out?

Churlita said...

Hang in there. Pretty soon that baby will come out and take one of those horrible first nasty black poops. So, the longer you can put that off, the better.

tony montana said...

Waiting for TBD is like waiting for someone to prosecute the Bush Administration...

LOL!

Jennifer, I think those tight, white pants of Brando's were actually his baby clothes.

Yes! I'm pwn'ing the father-to-be.

But, I am Tony Montana. Just try to stop me. You thing you can?

Kathleen said...

Good luck this weekend!!

try watching Speed Racer. The colors and motion would make any baby want to come out and play!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Pilgrim, if you want to be the example of bad adult, you got it. AG will not contaminate a young soul like that.

You are just mad because you can't be the baby anymore!!!

For that, you are expected to listen to Taylor Dayne over and over this weekend.

Pinko Punko said...

TBD, what a stinka!

plover said...

Maybe TBD is waiting for a Bush impeachment. If all us outside people can't get that right...

The Uncanny Canadian said...

I know how this is going to play out based on movies and TV shows I've seen: First, you are going to try all the home rememedies to induce labour, with humourous results. For example, a friend will tell TLB that she had the same thing happen, and she had some really spicy Mexican food, and it induced labour. You will try this to no avail.

The next course of action is Castor oil, which TLB will be hesitant to try, and which you don't have anyway. So you will have to go shopping for it, with humourous results. Getting it down TLB's throat will also be hilarious.

After the Castor oil debacle, you will be gently told that there is one more way, and it has something to do with the prostaglandins in your, umm man milk. This will involve great debate with riotously humourous results. Great lines about poking little Willie's eye with your one-eyed Willie will be tossed about. Definitely the comedic peak of the show before all the tender gaga moments.

However, I don't remember if it works or not.

Feral Mom said...

Uncanny Canadian is uncannily funny.

Here's the obligatory suggestion to get business going: stay up until all hours watching the Big Lebowski and you will almost certainly spend the next day laboring your ass off. There's something about sleep deprivation that attracts the newborn set, I guess.

Snag said...

I would like to know exactly what kind of movies UC is watching if those are the conclusion's he's drawing.

almostinfamous said...

UC is made of win today.

however, i bet TBD is in there going PSYCHE!!! right now

blue girl said...

Just over here checkin' to see if there's any baby action...

Churlita said...

Thanks for the update. My first daughter took forever to come out and I should have known it just meant she would be really stubborn about everything her whole life. Stubbornness doesn't run in either of you two, does it?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

TBD?!!

Just grease up TBD's home like you do with clowns in a VW and s/he will come out.

Jennifer said...

Good luck everyone!!

I think TBD is waiting to be the reincarnation of George Carlin.

billy pilgrim said...

Jennifer, haven't you ever heard George's ideas on reincarnation?

"Six souls. At one time there were only six souls.

Now there's seven billion people! Where's all the extra souls come from? Someone's printing up souls!!"

TBD is all like careful now, but will probably turn into a non-stop terror hellraiser, making brando and TLB prematurely bald and gray.

Someone just mentioned that Vonnegut said "For the first half, your parents ruin your life. For the second half, your kids do."

Jennifer said...

BP- I have indeed, but I still the thought of Brando and TLB raising the new incarnation of Carlin was salve for my aching heart.

Kathleen said...

Still thinking about you both, Come on out, TBD!!!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

If the kid refuses to come out, what happens?

No lie -- AG Aunt had four children. All four -- 10 month pregnancies! Good news: All four: Stanford graduates. Hmmm?

Conclusion: Kids who refuse to come out: Go to Stanford and then become VPs of investment firms.

Von said...

Well....6/23 IS my mom's bday, so I'm thinking it's a pretty good day to have a birthday....

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AG's uncle too, Von! (AG sibs were yesterday.)

blue girl said...

My mom's too, von!

plover said...

Do you suppose TBD is worried about whether the NSA will be wiretapping the baby monitor?

I suppose you could offer to get an encrypted one...

Chuckles said...

I recommend setting of some fireworks. Scare the kid out of the womb. Let him/her/it/bird/spider hit the ground running.

Then watch Knocked Up and tell me if it is still funny.

Von said...

See! I Knew I loved BG!! We have awesome Moms!!