Special extended heat wave edition!
12) Getting out of the kitchen and back to Arizona.
11) Crying frozen tears on wife's very cold shoulder.
10) Launching massive nuclear attack to trigger early winter.
9) Commuting heat from boil to simmer.
8) Going commando and straddling the air vents in the office.
7) Enjoying the air conditioning in the unemployment office.
6) Injecting actual ice water into veins.
5) Replacing current marital aids with Freeze Pops.
4) Refusing to deliver temperature readings to Congressional committee.
3) Scarfing latest Ben & Jerry’s flavor, “Chunky Freon.”
2) Renting lakeside timeshare in the Ninth Circle of Hell.
1) Fighting the heat in the desert so we don't have to fight it over here.