Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we not raising the minimum wage?

10) Don’t want to damage profitability of our Wal-Mart stock.

9) Can’t risk losing our core voting base of poor white trash.

8) Somebody’s got to work for peanuts after we kick out the Mexicans.

7) Once you give people a living wage, they’ll start asking for health care, better schools, less crime, and the next thing you know, we’re Canada.

6) The free market should dictate what we pay our caddies.

5) The current minimum wage is more than enough to get a five-course meal off Wendy’s dollar menu.

4) Hoping that the poor get desperate enough to enlist.

3) If they’re so unhappy, they should just do what we did and have Dad buy us an oil company.

2) It's hard enough carrying enough change for the Piss Boy as it is.

1) Because when we made a pact with the Devil to get elected, we had to give him our hearts, too.


Trevor Jackson said...

Oh, man. Number 4 is so right. Somebody's got to go. It would also fit well under, "Why does our education system suck?"

Yosef said...

You forgot "The money to pay the CEO $400^30 has to come from somewhere!"

Chuckles said...

#11 That just isn't how the economy works.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

#13, so only the elite and mediorce students can attend Yale.

almostinfamous said...

#15) we gotta pretend to save the money for a rainy day, but spend it secretly on doing something horrific somewhere instead

almostinfamous said...

#16) we need the money to replace all the desecrated flags, protect jesus from the democrats and teh gh3y, and also line our own pockets cause we're the ones that really matter!

Brando said...

Hey, I like this idea of having people add to the Top 10 every Tuesday.

Yosef said...

It can be like Norb's captions.