15) Reducing the blow-by-blow in our play-by-play.
14) Using the treadmill without having takeout delivered to us.
13) Avoiding making Piers Morgan look sane and sympathetic.
12) Not using sex as a weapon.
11) Not using Pat Benatar as a weapon.
10) Not using cheap, dated pop culture references in place of original thoughts.
13) Avoiding making Piers Morgan look sane and sympathetic.
12) Not using sex as a weapon.
11) Not using Pat Benatar as a weapon.
10) Not using cheap, dated pop culture references in place of original thoughts.
9) Standing firm instead of reaching across the aisle to satisfy a stiff Boehner.
8) Acting like less of a Dickensian.
7) Trying hard to be more sophisticated.
6) Respecting boundaries in the champagne room.
5) Finishing novel instead of converting it to Pinterest format.
4) Using Mapquest to find the gym we signed up for last year.
3) Complimenting minorities without using the backs of our hands.
2) Doing that thing we’ve always wanted to do but have never gotten around to but are finally going to…ooh, Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon!
1) Writing funny blog posts.
7) Trying hard to be more sophisticated.
6) Respecting boundaries in the champagne room.
5) Finishing novel instead of converting it to Pinterest format.
4) Using Mapquest to find the gym we signed up for last year.
3) Complimenting minorities without using the backs of our hands.
2) Doing that thing we’ve always wanted to do but have never gotten around to but are finally going to…ooh, Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon!
1) Writing funny blog posts.
5 comments:
15) L.O.L.
Someone put a leash on Møøseburger!
~
17) Not descending to the bottom rung of degradation in an effort to wring the last dime out of our grift.
New Year's resolutions are blurrier than anything.
LOL, especially loved #5. :)
Do you pin things, Brando? Is that where you've been?
The only thing I pin are my mittens to my jacket so I don't forget them.
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