Special extra 12 days of Christmas edition!
12) Subpeona.
11) Box of rubbers with two missing.
10) Phone pre-loaded with a video of our sister-in-law which was clearly meant for brother’s stocking.
9) Copy of budget proposal with an orange bronzer stain that looks like face of Pontius Pilate.
8) One pissed-off tarantula.
7) Peppermint Xanax canes (thanks, sis!)
6) Bottle containing the Ghost of Drunk Christmas Past, Present, and Future.
5) A lump sum from the coal lobby.
4) White Flower candle from Confederate Candle.
3) Four-Finger Louie’s fifth finger (with bonus pinky ring).
2) Brochure from Santa’s Village, the old folk’s home our ungrateful children are committing us to.
1) Note saying, “Sry, naughty – S.C.”
9 comments:
A nice box of pencils and a sharpener.
~
8) One pissed-off tarantula.
Just ONE?
12. Brown paper wrapped volume of Rudolph/Hermie slashfic.
Ha, that is hardcore.
One sock.
If I could call a mulligan, I'd make it "Yukon Cornelius/Abominable Snowman" slashfic... the optics are even crazier.
"In the mining camps of the Northwest Territories, they used to call me Yukon Cornholius!"
"Bumbles are Bottoms!"
I still believe that Ned Beatty got the motivation for his Deliverance role from Hermie. Bumbles like pork... Hermie crawls around on all fours, making oinking noises. Need we say more?? Oink/Squeal?? Of course, Hermie's saggy BVD's were covered, or implied.
Also, Yukon sure has a purdy mouth.
Naughty naughty Smut Clyde.
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