9) Showing every status update we crosspost to Twitter as, “Cum see my new & improved Facebook pics bit.nip/@reol@s”
8) Making us fans of the U.S. Border Patrol if we set the new required immigration status field to “it’s complicated.”
7) Logging in automatically fires off a message to Tom from MySpace asking why he hasn’t killed himself already.
6) Listing status as “stalking” when checking pictures of our exes.
5) Uploading our personal info to Siri so she can whisper important messages from Facebook’s preferred marketing partners to us while we sleep.
4) Defaulting our Spotify playlist updates to “All Bieber, All The Time.”
3) Changing all Farmville notifications to ask our friends, “Why not purchase a bushel of bountiful Facebook stock?”
2) Autocorrecting any mention of “privacy” to “Zuckerbergaliciousness.”
1) Pretty much every fucking thing every fucking day.