9) Showing every status update we crosspost to Twitter as, “Cum see my new & improved Facebook pics bit.nip/@reol@s”
8) Making us fans of the U.S. Border Patrol if we set the new required immigration status field to “it’s complicated.”
7) Logging in automatically fires off a message to Tom from MySpace asking why he hasn’t killed himself already.
6) Listing status as “stalking” when checking pictures of our exes.
5) Uploading our personal info to Siri so she can whisper important messages from Facebook’s preferred marketing partners to us while we sleep.
4) Defaulting our Spotify playlist updates to “All Bieber, All The Time.”
3) Changing all Farmville notifications to ask our friends, “Why not purchase a bushel of bountiful Facebook stock?”
2) Autocorrecting any mention of “privacy” to “Zuckerbergaliciousness.”
1) Pretty much every fucking thing every fucking day.
13 comments:
Not one effin' thing, Brando.
I never got involved with EffBook.
And you kids stay offa my lawn!
~
I am so happy I dumped out of FB a few weeks back!! I just can't stand that they take it upon themselves to try to change basic human behavior the way they do. So arrogant, I cannot stand it.
That being said, though, I'm sure I've been implanted with some FB chip that lasers out of my screen, directly into my retinas or something, so Zuckereffer still knows what I'm doing, where I'm going and what I'm thinking.
Damn you, Facebook!
I have to add... I don't think there's anything that I dislike as much as I dislike (despise) Facebook. It's sort of irrational.
Ha, BG, I saw I had lost a couple of friends (I'm one of THOSE people) and wondered who it was.
I totally get the frustration, but I have too much fun with it to stop. Sort of like drinking.
The changes are coming fast and furiously... I'm always certain I'm posting my pathetic internet viewing habits for the world to see.
And, as you all know, I'm rarely on my own page, but cannot stop the other one. People won't let me. I've had more pros than cons on that one.
Also, Brando, it's not been the same with out the glorious photo of you in your Indiana jersey. :) I can't wait until it shows up in an ad in my sidebar.
I would be lying if I said part of me doesn't miss it a little.
If you are a person who needs to find stuff out Facebook is a GIFT.
I'll never sign up for the fucking thing. On the other hand if there are enough people like this who's gonna notice you?
I'm with thunder and SMcG on this one. I've never signed up for Facebook. That being said, as the internet's number one "unapologetic ass man", I'd sign up for Assbook in a heartbeat!
17) changing my youthful, fit body for this travesty I have now. Certainly I never gave my permission for this!
Congrats, BBBB. I remember how happy I was when I made it to the first page of results for "circle jerk." I called my mom to tell her.
I remember how happy I was when I made it to the first page of results for "circle jerk." I called my mom to tell her.
Same for me and "filthbot"... thank you, Snag. I try to share this info at every parent/teacher conference.
lol @ I try to share this info at every parent/teacher conference.
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