Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we withdrawing from the Republican presidential race?

10) Have actual skeletons in closet.

9) America not ready for bold plan to have White House gold plated and available for business conventions and bar mitzvahs.

8) Used war chest to snort blow off hooker’s chest.

7) Hate government so much that can’t talk about being president without giving ourselves a round-house kick to the face.

6) Totally thought that Rapture guy was right and wanted to shift focus to being president of Heaven.

4) Birth certificate lists us as being “spawned.”
2) Nervous that winning nomination would require to talk to a black man.

1) Failed to meet Constitutional requirement that the President have a pulse.


Jennifer said...

Had an EKG and found out they actually had a heart and would have to act accordingly.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

FOX gig more lucrative.

Substance McGravitas said...

Pawlenty's in Iowa railing against CORN. Maybe he can talk trash about bacon at the same time.

almostinfamous said...

thundra stole my ... thunder. thunder thunder cats!

Another Kiwi said...

Scared of having to throw the first baseball, fuck that's a long way!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Afraid Klieg lights will melt plastic body.

fish said...

Stepford wife recall.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17a) Do not meet the "full goose bozo fucknozzle crazy" requirement.