Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Top Ten Wednesdays: How are we making ourselves more attractive to the Tea Party?

10) Showing a lot of ankle.

9) Suggesting that all Muslims be considered terrorists until they exclusively target British citizens and Irish Protestants.

8) Putting ourselves in their frame of mind by repeatedly hitting our head with a shovel.

7) Declaring that the creeping socialism of America will prevent it from catching up to the unapologetically socialist countries ahead of us.

5) Showing our pro-gun, pro-religion stance by vowing to shoot the wall between church and state with our legally concealled bazooka.

4) Accepting an honorary home-school degree, lovingly made with crayon.

3) Simultaneously tackling anti-white and anti-rich bias by noting that if it wasn’t for rich white men, black people never would have made it to America.

2) Campaigning in a red, white, and blue monster truck that runs on baby seal oil.

1) Promising to release our liberty from the tyrannical clutches of a secular nanny state and put it back in the righteous hands of a vengeful god.

9 comments:

Jimmy the Greek said...

Simultaneously tackling anti-white and anti-rich bias by noting that if it wasn’t for rich white men, black people never would have made it to America.


And dominate professional athletics. The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

13 hours ago @ Wonkette - Michele Bachmann: Repo... · 2 replies · +21 points

Michele Bachmann - Sarah Palin with a brain

*chortle*
~


I think I deserved more than 21 points for that comment because I included a link, unlike the rest of those lazy fvckers.
~

almostinfamous said...

wearing clothes that call attention to the baby bump.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Demanding that all Messicans get off the streets and into servants' quarters on the estates of the wealthy, where they can, when they are not working, play their cheerful songs, and dance their quaint dances for the amusement of their masters.

Substance McGravitas said...

Complaining about comic-book racial quotas.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Heh. If you click in to the main page and scroll down too fast, you see:

"How Are We Making Ourselves More Attractive to the Tea Party?"

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.
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8) The Humpty Dance.


I am easily amused these days.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

or not.

Brando said...

That was funny!

Likely last week of work hell for me. May try to post a list, or may just post a picture of an empty glass of Scotch.

fish said...

Or perhaps a humorous picture of a cat with playfully misspelled captions, as if the cat himself had written it.