Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we bringing Anglicans back to the Catholic Church?

10) Replacing communion wine and wafers with stout and chips.

9) Swapping out guitar mass for Beatles Rock Band mass.

8) Reversing Catholic decree forbidding annulment by decapitation.

7) Incorporating Cockney “Gov’nor Jim Bible” into liturgy.

6) Mailing out coupon book including five free indulgences.

5) Letting married Anglican priests remain married under the doctrine of pre boneum.

4) Allowing priests to wear Union Jack vestments.

3) Promising that all gay clergy will remain securely closeted.

2) Offering exchanges for full parish credit on female priests.

1) Agreeing to excommunicate the 21st century.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) by making them into zombies.

almostinfamous said...

18) smoking a peace pipe?

Churlita said...

By not forcing them to know the name of the current pope. Because really, who does?...And making them into zombies.

Brando said...

I agree, Churlita. They should have required that all popes be named John Paul and just change the number.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I think they should have kept adding names.

So this one would be John Paul George Ringo. The next one could be John Paul George Ringo Pete. After that, they might have to start in with Yoko and Linda. Maybe George Martin.

You know, cuz the kids would love it.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Meet The Popes!

Jennifer said...

They've never used "Zombie" for a pope's name, have they? Why does the Vatican hate zombies?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

They only like that one, Jennifer.

Jennifer said...

They only like that one, Jennifer.

I thought the same thing, but nine years for parochial school prevented me from saying it. :)

Brando said...

I have sometimes felt like a zombie at mass.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

19b) providing indulgences through Podcast.