Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we showing our liberalism in Congress?

10) Shhhh!!!

9) Ixnay on the liberalism-ay.

8) That was close. What the hell's the matter with you, someone could have been listening.

7) We don't like to use the "L-word" in public.

6) Why? Because the American people can't handle it.

5) Okay, okay, sure, they tend to support things that rhyme with schmiberal, like universal health care coverage, social security, and not using a Sears Die Hard and two paperclips to extract information from a guy who may or may not be a terrorist.

4) But if you just go around shouting "I'm an L-Word" from the top of the Capitol dome, do you know who might hear you? Fox News! And they're not afraid to use the L-Word, let me tell you!

3) It's even worse when the other Republicans in Congress get a hold of the word. Sure, there aren't many of them left, but they're really scary and carry a lot of weight with our most rapidly declining demographics!

2) So we prefer to use terms like "centrist," "bi-partisan," and "totally not socialist." And not make any sudden movements that might startle voters.

1) Instead, think of us like the light beer of progressivism: You can drink us all day without feeling any different, except you have to pee a lot.


Bill Stankus said...

Done like an assassin's very sharp knife.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

dangit, now I'm thirsty.

fish said...

dangit, now I have to pee.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

fish ALWAYS have to pee.

Nobody notices, though.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) [Lieberman] by trying to disrupt Health Care reform, at teh behest of my corporate masters.... wait, that's NOT liberalism? [/Lieberman]

fish said...

Nobody notices, though.

Attributed to local temperature variation.

Brando said...

Yeah, it's not global warming causing that sudden change in water temperature.

Brando said...

And sorry for being MIA from everyone's blogs. I'm playing the "work my butt off so I can take a facking vacation" game this week.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) well, first I pants Boehner while yelling "Stimulus, Whitey!" The, running down the aisles of the Senate, throwing coupons for free abortions and joints to right and left while singing "Fack This! Fack That! Fack the Fack, you Facking Brat!". Then, I lower my pants and grab Nancy Pelosi....

What? Oh, I thought you said SHOVING our Liberalizm in Congress. My bad.

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