Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Top Ten Tuesdays: How are we planning to deter North Korea's weapons programs?

10) Posting a strongly-worded tweet from twitter.com/unsecuritycouncil57.

9) Sending Joe Biden for direct negotiations so he can talk them to death.

8) Telling Kim Il-Jong if he stops testing, he can be in Obama's Five.

7) Broadcasting North Korean premiere of Wargames so they understand that in nuclear war, there are no winners.

6) Parachuting Jack Bauer to Pyongyang and giving him a day to take care of it.

5) Calling China and telling them, "Hey, you know what North Korea said? That you don't have the stones to launch preemptive strikes against their suspected nuclear sites. And that the way to tell Chinese women apart from Chinese men is that the men have smaller clitorises. What's that? Sure, we can e-mail you the coordinates."

4) Inviting them to settle the issue on the hottest new game show, Arms Deal or No Arms Deal.

3) Erecting a mile-high trampoline along the West Coast.

2) Warning North Korea if they don't stop testing nuclear weapons, Dick Cheney will kill every first-born North Korean male.

1) Honestly, we have no idea. Got any suggestions?


zombie rotten mcdonald said...


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Giving all the NK nukular scientists (seriously, until they have a weapon with anything like a modern yield, as well as delivery system more reliable than a water rocket, they don't get the real pronunciation) free porn accounts.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

share some of Snag's half-smokes

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Oh, I'm full of good ideas:

Offer to trade them; the opoortunity for one of the following:

1.Let them Waterboard John Bolton
2. give them Dick Cheney's mechanical heart.
3. Allow them to put GWB in a round room and tell him there's tequila in the corner.

Snag said...

You can have my half smokes when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Not even for world peace?

Brando said...

I'll bet we could get this whole mess sorted out at a minor league ballgame where we chowed on some half-smokes.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I think Brando has a point, considering North Korea's 'Nukes' are barely out of the 'fireworks' category, and Estes sells more capable missile systems to 12 year old firebugs.

capcha warns us, however, to watch out for 'kideye' when firing them off. A wise precaution.

fish said...

You can have my half smokes when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

Which should be about half way through the case.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

In that case, it would be 'cold, grease-saturated arteries'

If Snag has any left, I'm going up there to heist them.

fish said...

Kidnap and Deliver Miley Cyrus to help restart N. Korea's faltering movie industry.

This is what is known as a win/win.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Can we make it a package deal with Michael Bay?

But I don't think even Kim Jong Il is THAT crazy.

Anonymous said...

5 is sooooooo wrong, lol.

I was on the subway today and this guy who just got out of prison was harrassing the hell out of this Korean passenger next to me. He kept screaming at her, "We scared of the Middle East but you Korean motherf*ckers are gonna blow the whole world up!"

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17) send Kathleen to pee in their wastebaskets.

O lord I am sorry for that one.

Churlita said...

I think sicking Dick Cheney on them should be all 1-10.