10) Practicing grocery bagging skills for post-retirement employment opportunities.
9) Altering goal of moving to Las Vegas to Leaving Las Vegas.
8) Moving our 401k allocations into more stable Powerball Fund.
7) Using kids' college fund to send ourselves back to college until its safe to graduate again.
6) Investigating tasty new ways to die of a heart attack before the age of 65.
5) Obtaining a fake ID so we're young enough to enlist.
4) Squatting in foreclosed McMansions.
3) Feeding on the pigeons.
2) Getting the food, shelter, and health care we'll need by sticking up the nearest police station.
1) Working ourselves to death so we won't have to be scared about retiring.