10) Sending 3 a.m. booty call text to the district attorney.
9) Putting the automatic in automatic pilot.
8) Saying that our political opponents are bigger than Judas.
7) Betting the kids’ college fund on Duke.
6) Learning that our proven track record of monogamy disqualifies us from being governor.
5) Bringing out our dead when they’re not dead yet.
4) Having our national assets in a sling fund.
3) Addding a little too much George Jefferson to our Thomas Jefferson.
2) Admitting recollections manufactured in Bosnia have suffered a factory recall.
1) Being too eager to serve man.