10) Licked the wrong kind of frog.
9) Kept checking WebMD every five minutes for symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
8) Started looking at a copy of Glamour magazine when no one was around and yadda yadda yadda blindness.
7) Saw our home appraisal go down faster than a Republican Congressmen at a rest stop.
6) Sucked out all the cheese in the stuffed crust pizza without using protection.
5) Found out that George W. Bush had the ability to do good all along.
4) Gave corpse of Bill Buckley prolonged tongue baths.
3) Destabilized liver with malt-based Al-Cohol insurgency.
2) Played bobbing for petri dishes.
1) Contracted Hypocritus P from handling raw political sewage.
*Written from CJSD deathbed because The Lovely Becky is not here to keep me from thinking a sore throat and cold is really Ebola/acting like a big sick baby.