10) Buy rights to "Hey Jude" and change chorus the chorus to cha...cha...cha...cha-cha-cha-ching.
9) Bribe the Sun to come a million miles closer and make winter finally go away.
8) Have The Rolling Stones killed.
7) Quit day job to focus on lifelong dream: beating Rock Band on the Expert level.*
6) Pay for new Florida Democratic primary on the condition that we get to hunt the loser at Disney World’s Discovery Island.
5) Poll 25 points higher than Mitt Romney did.
4) Throw birthday party for Allan Greenspan and only to have a naked Paul Krugman jump out of the cake.
3) Turn Kansas into a giant plasma TV that we can watch from our orbiting space mansion.
2) Lose $25 million of it in our next divorce from Pete Best.
1) Buy Ringo.
*Embarrassing Brando nugget here, courtesy of TLB.