Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: What are we going to do about high gas prices?

10) Tell oil companies they can only have near-record profits.

9) Research combustion engines that run on wishful thinking.

8) Reanimate Buddy Ebsen and have him hunt for bubbling crude.

7) Introduce new "$54.40 a barrel or fight" policy.

6) Remove environmental protections until people are too sick to drive.

5) Reduce fuel usage of soccer moms by encouraging children to stay home and play soccer video games.

4) Authorize CIA to resume their work on creating a Crackmobile.

3) Give those gasoline pumps a steely squint until they automatically drop prices.

2) Throw a lot of feces and see if it sticks.

1) Ask Americans to conserve more energy...just kidding, we’ll probably annex another oil-producing country.

3 comments:

teh l4m3 said...

I shun your crackmobile as being environmentally unsound. My hybrid will run only partly on crack -- the other fuel will be Whitney's flopsweat.

The Limerick Savant said...

Hey, thanks for the link. Here are my latest thoughts on the topic

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I just love Dum Dum's plan to have an investigation. What does he need an investigation for? I can tell you for free how we got into this mess.