Special 11 or 12 million expanded edition!
12) They’re robbing poor whites of the God-given right to be exploited by rich whites
11) Immigrants are undermining James K. Polk’s noble work of stealing half of Mexico
10) We really want American teenagers to do half-assed jobs on our lawns for twice the price
9) Increase in immigration is escalating the salsa spice index, making mild into medium and medium into hot, wrecking havoc on Caucasian digestive systems
8) Illegal immigrants take American jobs instead of properly transferring those jobs overseas
7) Uncontrollably projecting our hatred of J-Lo onto an entire people
6) We’re not really that mad, just want to change the subject from Iraq
5) We want our orange juice to only be picked virgins dressed in white silk during the vernal equinox
4) Letting people in who work harder for less money is giving us poor self-esteem
3) Hating brown is the new hating black
2) They don’t speak proper English and always end sentences in, “eh?”
1) Because we’re making money by sounding just like the guys who said our people were a blight on Germany.