Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we so mad at illegal aliens?

Special 11 or 12 million expanded edition!

12) They’re robbing poor whites of the God-given right to be exploited by rich whites

11) Immigrants are undermining James K. Polk’s noble work of stealing half of Mexico

10) We really want American teenagers to do half-assed jobs on our lawns for twice the price

9) Increase in immigration is escalating the salsa spice index, making mild into medium and medium into hot, wrecking havoc on Caucasian digestive systems

8) Illegal immigrants take American jobs instead of properly transferring those jobs overseas

7) Uncontrollably projecting our hatred of J-Lo onto an entire people

6) We’re not really that mad, just want to change the subject from Iraq

5) We want our orange juice to only be picked virgins dressed in white silk during the vernal equinox

4) Letting people in who work harder for less money is giving us poor self-esteem

3) Hating brown is the new hating black

2) They don’t speak proper English and always end sentences in, “eh?”

1) Because we’re making money by sounding just like the guys who said our people were a blight on Germany.

5 comments:

teh l4m3 said...

9) Racist stereotypes! In the burrito line, I always as for salsa picante (but mild guac -- can't stand too much crap in my guac).

6) Truer than you know. 'bout 6% of Americans actually give a shit about this.

And can we make 13 "a fear of brown, Catholic grandchildren"?

Brando said...

True on 9, teh. I am white as Wonderbread and I like really spicy Mexican food. And I suppose the orginal instigators were the I-talians and there'a spicee meat-a-balls.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Blogger is a PITA today! It has knocked me off twice while trying to leave a good comment.

Brando said...

AG, I know, I should go get a real blog program, but I have grown fond of slumming in Blogger. Keepin' it real and such.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I totally agree that free is the way to go. Midniter and I went being pulled and screaming by Res to WP.

Blogger just acts out now and again.