13) Find out what happened to the wife and kids five months ago.
12) Check Mel Kiper’s Twitter feed every minute for the next 115,200 minutes until the NFL Draft.
11) Try not to get murdered by a very bored Ray Lewis.
10) Clean off the Fathead.
9) Use power of Tim Tebow jersey to change Gatorade into Coors Light.
8) Submit proposal to improve NBA by allowing players to wear helmets and tackle each other.
7) Have blood transfusion to remove mass quantities of dip from arteries.
6) Tattoo our career stats on our arm so we can remember what we did with our lives after we’ve become drooling, concussed vegetables.
5) Start a fantasy league for alcoholic beverages.
4) Throw red challenge flag to overturn custody ruling.
3) Hockey, I guess.
2) Go back to church so we can pray for our team’s chances next year.
1) Whatever Lord Goodell demands of us.
7 comments:
Get ready for the draft, of course.
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I know!
Post a pic of a squirrel-spider.
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Don't worry, football season is only 5 weeks away. And only 10 days to the NAB cup.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.
The irony is, as much as I love football, I am always relieved to have my Sundays back, at least until the next fantasy draft.
12. Find another source of violent entertainment with a homoerotic subtext.
10) Clean off the Fathead.
Is that a euphemism?
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