Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Top Ten Tuesdays: Why are we leaving the papacy?

Special extended homily edition!

15) Feeling more Pontius than papal.

14) Working full time on bath soap line, Pope-on-a-Rope.

13) Starting a new international language club, The Latin Kings.

12) Can’t stomach another month of Filet O’ Fish on Lenten Fridays.

11) After a lifetime of working on canons, want to hit the gym to work on our guns.

10) Finally celebrating Fat Tuesday the way God intended: showing our tits for Rosary beads.

9) Tired of people making infallible jokes when our NCAA bracket goes bust.

8) Starting new death metal band, The Cardinal Sins.

7) The frock and funny hat make it really hard to pick up women.

6) Becoming an image consultant for the Republican party.

5) Feel the Catholic Church needs the strength and energy that can only be provided by a 75-year-old Pope.

4) Lawyers won’t automatically know where we live.

3) Drinking six chalices of  the "Blood of Christ" every day is turning our liver into water.

2) Want to be able to end our papal life with dignity and on our terms, before we become a shell of our former selves.

1) Natural instinct for a Ratso to be the first one off a sinking ship.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

0) Elvis wants to wear our Red Prada Shoes.

almostinfamous said...

15) someone keeps turning off the air conditioning on the popemobile

Brando said...

I wonder if the Popemobile has a small incense burner hanging from the rear-view mirror.

fish said...

Not enough children in the Vatican.

Jennifer said...

95) Luther was right. Freedom from God's punishment for the sin of ignoring child abuse cannot be purchased with money, even though we've tried.

Also... tired of the Diet of Worms.

Substance McGravitas said...

14) Working full time on bath soap line, Pope-on-a-Rope.

I owned it once. Catholics are nothing if not brilliant knick-knack producers.