Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Top Ten Wednesdays: Why were we relieved from duty?

Special Operation Endless Entendre Edition

15) Deployed our troops to multiple unauthorized hot zones.

14) Violated rules of engagement through use of stress positions with our assets.

13) Removed restrictive intelligence briefs in order to facilitate going full commando.

12) Received way too much blowback during undercover missions.

11) Spent an inordinate amount of time investigating leads from the Militarily Intelligent Ladies File.

10) Started as a military observer, but got sucked into conducting an insurgency into the bush.

9) Added whips to the chain of command.

8) Procured lucrative military contract for Adam and Eve.

7) Redirected spy satellites to scope out topless beaches for babes.

6) Kept labeling self as a hard target.

5) Diverted funds to form all-female SEAL Team 69.

4) Leaked our homemade video of our insertion team engaging in some excessive wet work.

3) Ordered attractive WMD experts to search for a huge bunker buster in our pants.

2) Set DEFCON status to “HORNY”

1) Put the Homeland into Homeland Security.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

0) No sleeves in the wardrobe.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Brando is playing in his favorite ballpark here.

Brando said...

I rarely get to combine my love of dick jokes with my interest in covert operations

Substance McGravitas said...

This is my rifle
This is my gun
The wife is away
So call me up hun.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

0) No sleeves in the wardrobe.

To be fair, her guns are pretty impressive. and by impressive, I mean frightening.

fish said...

I love #12.

And there should have been at least one civilian joke with a binder full of women...

fish said...

My condolences to Brando, who was on the wrong end of a Brady-like emergence of a new quarterback star.

Brando said...

Jesus, that sucked last night. Uglier than the people featured in Yahoo's story about San Fran enacting a nudity ban.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

17A) stopped posting.

Chuckles said...

11. Called in a drone strike when we couldn't land the troops.

Chuckles said...

Er, I mean 16.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Who's on Brando watch this afternoon?